...usually something to do with my physical appearance.
…Yes, it’s usually something very shallow. People often say I’m pretty, beautiful, “fine“. I’ve even had someone I thought was my husband tell me he was with me because of how I look (physical beauty). I’ve also encountered people treat me harshly or abusively, assuming that I had it too good because of my outward appearance—as if that somehow made me immune to struggle.
Believe it or not, more than one person (in completely different seasons of my life) said to my face that they had to treat me unfairly because they believed my life was “too perfect,” and they needed to “even the score.” Yes, that actually happened. Many times. The truth? None of their assumptions were right. I’ve had it incredibly hard, even as a child.
My appearance has absolutely nothing to do with the heartbreaks, hardships, and dark valleys I’ve walked through. And while “pretty privilege” is a real thing in some spaces, in others, it brings pain. Sometimes being attractive makes you a target—makes people want to use, abuse, or take advantage of you. Sometimes it attracts shallow love, or people who don’t care about your soul, only your surface. I’ve been in relationships where I felt like an object rather than a person. That kind of treatment can strip away your sense of self if you’re not careful.
But I’m older now. Wiser. And I no longer make myself available to that kind of energy. I’ve learned to guard my heart, as God instructs in Proverbs 4:23:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Yes, I’ve been called beautiful. But I’ve also been deeply naive. I still am in some ways, but I think that’s because the child in me never died. She’s still there—still soft, still hopeful. And I protect her now. I used to see that part of me as a weakness, but Jesus doesn’t. In fact, He says:
“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:3
There’s a kind of purity in having a childlike heart, and I’m no longer ashamed of it.
My hope these days is to meet people who understand that side of me… who will protect that softness instead of trying to exploit it, who will respect and acknowledge it instead of using or abusing it for shallow gain.
Yes, I take care of myself. I value hygiene and style and health. But I don’t do it to attract anyone anymore. Beauty is vain. It’s fleeting. And eventually, we all grow old and grey. So what’s the point in comparing? In being jealous? In thinking someone’s life is perfect because of how they look?
It’s all a waste of time. What lasts is the soul. And that’s the part of me I want to be remembered for. That’s the part I want loved.
Because God sees my soul. He sees my value—the kind that doesn’t wrinkle or fade.
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7
And that brings me peace. Because the One who made me sees past all the outside noise. He sees me. And He says I’m worthy. That my best feature is really my heart.
xo <3
Rosalyn Rose
I pray many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many blessings over you!