...Don't assume, but discern.
This has been one of the most challenging lessons I’ve learned. I’ve met a lot people who have ultimately disappointed me in extreme ways (I’ve got stories, let me tell you), which caused me to become hypervigilant. I built walls, convinced that I couldn’t trust anyone the way I had prior. And it’s been a long road to get to where I am now, believe me!
But on this journey, God has shown me that my judgments were often flawed. Even when my assumptions were partly true, they were rarely the full picture:
“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” -John 7:24
God had to reveal the error within me, and in doing so, He led me into a long period of isolation to work on myself. I had to learn that not everyone was like those who had betrayed me, and even those who hurt me weren’t always what they seemed either. Only God truly knows the true inner depths of the heart of an individual:
“The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7
He showed me that many of those individuals were in immense pain and confusion, struggling with wounds of their own. Instead of processing their hurt in a healthy way, they passed it on. I could relate because I had once been in a similar position–so broken by the way I had been treated that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be the same before the hurt again. I became a shell of my former self: dreading each day. I was no longer bubbly and open, but completely closed off, depressed, lost and bitter. I didn’t want to feel that way, but I didn’t know how to move past it. That’s when God came to rescue me, or should I say, I finally allowed Him in to do so.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” -Psalm 147:3
God, in His mercy, began to show me that I was holding on to pain when I didn’t have to. He soon started introducing me to kind, genuine people who were nothing like those who had hurt me. They weren’t necessarily “religious”, church-going people. They were kind, from many walks of life. For the first time, I realized how abnormal my past experiences had been. It was all I had ever known, but God opened my eyes to something different. That was when I stopped assuming I knew a person based on my negative experiences of the past.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” -Proverbs 3:5
My way of thinking had been wrong. I was humbled, yet deeply grateful because I was free.
However, freedom doesn’t mean naiveté. I’ve learned that trust should be earned. While we are called to love, we are also called to be wise:
“Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” -Matthew 10:16
Not everyone should have access to my heart, but that doesn’t mean I should live in fear either. I’m okay with that balance now. That’s part of what life is about. And I like it.
Each person we meet has their own Human Abstract Gallery–what God calls their “book”:
“The books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what was written in the books, according to their works.” -Revelation 20:12
Everyone has their good, bad and ugly moments. But, more importantly, each gallery holds its own unique beauty, too.
I no longer fear getting to know people. I trust that God, who knows the hearts of all, will lead me with discernment. And that gives me all the peace I need.
Thanks for reading (see you tomorrow).
I pray many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many blessings over you,
xoxoxoxo
Rosalyn Rose